


an albatross around his neck

by taizi



Series: full circle [6]
Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Gen, an interlude
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 10:11:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12957009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taizi/pseuds/taizi
Summary: Kaname thought it would be different with Nishimura – that Nishimura wouldn’t shut them out the way Natsume always has – but it turned out to be more of the same.And it aches inside, a fury rooted to the very last inch in care.





	an albatross around his neck

“What the hell were you brats  _thinking?”_ Ponta hisses with vitriol. Taki shuffles guiltily, but Kaname meets the fat cat glare for glare. 

Losing his temper has never really been Kaname’s thing, but he’s been holding onto something angry for  _weeks_ now, letting it curdle in the pit of his stomach.

He’ll never truly be helpful to Natsume for as long as the other boy guards his secrets so carefully, even from the people who love him, and that’s a bitter pill to swallow.

Kaname thought it would be different with Nishimura – that Nishimura wouldn’t shut them out the way Natsume always has – but it turned out to be more of the same.

And it aches inside, a fury rooted to the very last inch in care.

“I want an answer, damn it!” the cat demands. “Natsume’s made himself sick with worry over you lot as it is, and now I find you’ve drawn  _Nishimura_ into this mess?”

“Nishimura found the circle on his own,” Taki says, “but we –  _I_ should have been more careful with it. I’m sorry, Nyanko-sensei.”

“It’s Taki’s circle,” Kaname interjects hotly, “so it’s up to her to decide what we do with it, not you.”

With a dangerous snarl, Ponta disappears in a showy burst of smoke and wind. Taki lets out a little yelp of surprise, and Kaname moves closer to her reflexively.

Powerful yokai or not, Ponta won’t do anything to hurt anyone Natsume loves, not really. But that only makes his bark much worse than his bite, and Kaname braces himself for whatever threat the cat might decide to throw at them. 

Hot breath rakes over their faces, ruffling their hair. Kaname realizes what he’s doing and laughs, shortly and without humor.

“Your true form isn’t impressive when we can’t  _see_ it, Ponta. We can’t be afraid of something we don’t know is there. That’s kind of the whole  _point_.”

The words are bitter. The hand Taki tucks around his arm doesn’t make him feel better, but he appreciates the effort. He knows she’s every bit as miserable as he is.

It’s hard, to be helpless while their friends hurt. 

With another curl of smoke, and a lot less wind, Ponta drops back to the ground in his lucky cat form. Kaname has never seen the creature look apologetic before, and even now he doesn’t quite manage it. 

But his eyes are less sharp as he looks them over, and his tone is gruff and maybe rueful when he says, “Well. You’re still just idiot children, yet, anyway. Just tell me what it is you need.”

Taki brightens, recognizing the taciturn truce for what it is, and kneels to open her arms for him to trundle into. “Thank you, sensei,” she says earnestly. 

Kaname is glad the fight seems to be over, even if they didn’t manage to find any middle ground; but there’s still an unhappy hollow deep inside him, a knot of frustration and guilty resentment, and maybe there’s nothing he can do about it. 

Nishimura has been a sunny, stubborn constant in this town since Kaname first came here. Bright and loud and irrepressible as he drags the rest of them headlong into fun or trouble. 

He’s a shadow of himself now. Happier to doze against Kitamoto’s shoulder than get into mischief, bundled up in his brother’s over-sized hoodie to stave off a chill none of the rest of them can feel, marked by a curse he kept secret from them for as long as he could.

Why is it so hard to  _help_ you?Kaname wants to ask him. He just doesn’t think Nishimura would know the answer any more than Natsume does. 

**Author's Note:**

> wrote this for a prompt on tumblr. poor tanuma's so frustrated :')


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